Act 1: Public Admission

Ok, I admit it.  I am turning 40.

This is not an earth-shattering revelation.   It's  not even that great an accomplishment!  It's been done, and done well, by a whole pack of people much more important, fascinating, insightful and braver that I am.

 But this is a big step for me.  And I wanted to mark it with some significance.

In the last 39.5 years, I have become a lot of things.  At this point in my life, I thought I should be able to answer the question

Who are you, Rhonda?

with a fair bit of authority.  

After all, I have been a lot of things in that time: A wife.  A mother.  A daughter.  A teacher.  A student.  An adult.  A critic.  A nerd.  A friend.  An inquirer.  A questioner.

But as I look toward the horizon of this 40th year, I don't have a good answer for the question.  So this seemed like a good time to find out.

I spent the last 5 years or so ruling out things.  I can tell some things I definitely am NOT.  But the question of who I AM lingers.  One thing I have been for quite a long time was afraid.  I have let fear of rejection, of rocking the boat, of putting people off rule my life to too long now.

It's time to stop worrying about how I will be judged when I speak my mind.  It's time to show my true feelings.  It's time to BE who I AM.

Now, to figure that out.